Saturday, June 30, 2012

Let's Play Saturday: Dave & Buster's!

Dave & Buster's is like my nirvana.  It plays perfectly into my addictive mindset, competitive nature and love of swiping magnetic strips.  How is that not paradise?  It's like Las Vegas, if Las Vegas had big-screen interactive Fruit Ninja.  Hellz Yeah!  Here are some of my favourite games there:

Mario Kart!  I never win.  NEVER!  I think I maybe won ONCE.  I'm so bad at this game, I basically keep over-correcting my steering, bouncing from one wall to the other with the pedal to the metal!  But that doesn't stop me from trying to beat people at Mario Kart, even if it means shoving them to distract them when we're close.  Mario Kart can be a contact sport, if you let it!

Skee-Ball!  A classic!  My Skee-Ball skills are very hit-and-miss.  I'll usually get one 50pt. shot in a game, sometimes one 100pt. shot, and the rest are lucky if they stay in MY lane!

Deal or No Deal is the most intense thing you will ever experience.  This is like crack for adrenaline junkies!  One time, we hit the jackpot, and it was so, so sweet.  I've never even watched the show, but I played this game in London and got hooked - I'm not about to quit now!

And arcade would be complete without those games loaded full of coins, with the sweeper.  You know?  The one where you feed coins in, hoping to knock coins off the ledge?  I have no photo of this because this is my single favourite game.  I will literally spend hours feeding coins into these machines. 

And that's why I'm safer at Dave & Buster's than a casino:  it's all just fun and games!  You play until you get tired or run out of money, trade in your tickets for Angry Birds toys and candy, then warm up down the street at Papaya Dog with some piping hot jalapeno poppers.  Because you earned them.

Do you have an arcade near you?
Did you grow up popping quarters into Donkey Kong?
Which is better:  Pac-Man or Ms. Pa Man?

Answer in the comments!

Friday, June 29, 2012

FITBF: Color

Today's prompt is COLOUR.

I love colour.  Mostly on my nails.  I think colour is the aphrodisiac of the eyes.  Yesterday I was in a bar with plush red booths, dark lighting, and red undertones, and the whole effect was so...well, sexy.  It's amazing what colour can do to our minds. 

Source: via Meghan-Sara on Pinterest

These colours remind me of summer heat.  Of that oppressive, unbearable heat you remember from summer vacations when your parents insisted that central air was too expensive, and ceiling fans worked just as well.  This parental fairy tale is brought to you by the parents who got you to believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.  So you spend your summer lying on the floor in front of the box fan, trying to get comfortable enough to read your way through the entire Goosebumps series before school starts again.

Source: via Meghan-Sara on Pinterest

Mustard yellow and navy blue are the colours of fall.  Long walks to the train station in weather that yo-yos from summer's unbeatable heat (see above) to the first snowfall that whets your appetite for what's to come.  The smell of smoke from a fireplace drifts into your consciousness.  Little by little, almost imperceptibly, the leaves start to change and then vanish, and road crews sneakily remove them before you get to enjoy them.  Isn't that just like Fall?  You wait so long for the promise of pumpkin patches and apple picking, hayrides and haunted houses, and before you know it the leaves are being hauled off and the Halloween candy is stale.

Source: via Meghan-Sara on Pinterest

Winter is always like a black and white film - white and grey.  White snow, grey slush.  White sky, grey sidewalks.  And black pea coats at far as the eye can see.  My first few years in New York there have been massive blizzards right around Christmastime.  One hit when I was underground in the subway.  I went into the train at dusk and emerged the other side in Hoth.  The sun had set and the black sky turned light with all the white flakes blowing around.  Already, huge drifts of snow had begun to form.  It was like walking in a snowglobe, if you'll forgive a tired cliche, because the snow not only fell down and built up, it seemed to swirl all around.  Over a foot of snow fell overnight and I'll never forget walking home in the midst of it.  There was no traffic, no pedestrians, only silence and the oppressive whiteness of it.

Finally, if you'll allow me one more tired cliche, Spring ushers in an era of soft pastels.  People break free of their black wool armor and start to don light colours again.  Gauzy scarves and flowy skirts come out of storage and back into the wardrobe.  Speculation over colour trends starts buzzing.  Coral!  Mint!  Tangerine!  Lavender!  Everyone tries to guess and flaunt the newest bright cheerful hue.  It's optimism!  It's rebirth!  It's always in pastel.

Thanks for following along with my bizarre concept.  These pictures are all of the bridge that I can see from my bedroom window.  Share your colour stories with Lauren at The Little Things We Do!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Things I Love Thursday: Love Songs

Love Songs by MeghanSara on Grooveshark  Love means never having to say you're sorry.

  Love lifts us up where we belong.

  All you need is love.

  Grab somebody you love an' love the crap outta them.

(That last one is mine.)
(Feel free to quote me, guys.)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

7 Things Link-Up #15!

Everyone knows it's Wednesday!
And that means it's time for the 7 Questions Link-Up with Gentri Lee!
And here's my Cheshire Cat grin:

1. If you could be any princess- which would you be and why?

I think Aladdin and Jasmine have the most authentic love story.  They get to know each other under false pretenses, sure, but they were really in love with each other, and not what they could get from each other.  Does that sound completely crazy?

2. Do you have any odd habits? (do things in order, words that you say too often, etc)

I'm always biting my lip.  Maybe it's a "hushing gesture"?

3. What's your "go to" outfit?

T-shirt and jeans!  T-shirt, jeans, and Chucks is the classic outfit!

4. Do you have any siblings? What are their genders, ages, order of age, names, etc?

I have two brothers - both younger than me.  I don't want to post their information on the internet because that's their privacy, but suffice to say I grew up with two younger brothers, and draw your own conclusions.

5. What's your favorite precious stone?

I've always loved hematite.  It's a black shiny smooth stone.  Wikipedia says that "Hematite is harder than pure iron, but much more brittle."  Which means it is tough, but fragile.  I like that metaphor.  Aren't we all tough, but fragile?

6. If you had a check in your hand for 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?

It's not exciting, but it's something I've always wished for.  Buy a house.  Or an apartment.  Or a townhouse.  I hate worrying about being able to pay the rent all the time.

7. What do you love most about yourself- physically?

I love my hair in the above picture!  I know that's shallow, but you asked!  I love my crooked bangs.  My choppy fringe!  I'm the only person allowed to trim them because everyone else does it WRONG.  They're artfully haphazard!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I Love You, Trader Joe

Once a month, we go grocery shopping.  And like everything we do, we do it COMPLETELY.  Over the top.

And because I am a terrible cook:

Here is why I love Trader Joe!:

1.  It's SO CHEAP!  A month's worth of groceries here costs what a week's worth of groceries cost at all the other grocery stores in the city.  And I'm not kidding. 

2.  It's SO FAST!  Checkout takes five minutes, whether you're 5th in line or 25th in line.  And they play sweet tunes while you wait, so it doesn't even feel like you're waiting!

3.  The food is GOOD.  See that Palak Paneer?  Better than the delivery stuff we used to pay $15 a plate for.  At much, much, MUCH cheaper, to boot!  It's no secret that I love Channa I can have it whenever I want and it's ALWAYS spicy, NEVER bitter.  Perfect!

4.  They have vegetarian food out the ying-yang.  At most grocery stores, the veggie foods are tucked away in the "health" section, and you have to stand around scanning ingredient lists for the presence of "beef heads" or "chicken feet" or whatever you carnivores eat.  Here, it's kind of the opposite:  "vegetarian until proven guilty," if you will.

5.  The options are vast and varied!  It may look like we have just spent $100 on a freezer full of frozen Indian entrees and polenta - but that's just the beginning.  We also have mango juice, mini pitas, hummus, lentil soup, enchiladas, new potatoes in herbs with green beans, cheese sticks, pink lemonade, popcorn, cookie butter, ravioli, and Greek pizzas.  It's not just food you have to eat, it's food you WANT to eat. 

6.  Trader Joe's is frequently among the most ethical companies, for how they run their business, and how they treat their employees.  I'm all for social conscience!

7.  There's a laid-back, super cool atmosphere in the store - employees are always happy and nice (today they complimented my dress!), they wear super cute Hawaiian shirts, and like I mentioned, the music is super cute and chill.  Last time, I heard "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon!  One of my favourites!  Any place that gets my music taste, gets my business!  I don't even care if that's shallow!

Do you have a Trader Joe's near you?
Have you tasted the cookie butter?
What's your favourite Trader Joe's product?
Let me know in the comments!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Music Monday with GInger Flair!

I can't say enough good things about Kassie over at Ginger Flair.  Well, she was nice enough to let me take over her blog today to yammer about my love of dance music!  Check it out!  (Spoiler alert:  there's video of me dancing like a Muppet.  You're welcome.)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Accent is on the Accent

This embarrassing true story happened to me at work a few weeks ago.  Let me preface by saying that I have somewhat of a hearing difficulty...perhaps when I can afford insurance I'll see a doctor and diagnose the level to which my hearing has deteriorated thanks to sirens, horns, trains, and midnight fireworks - but that's a story for another time. 

Suffice to say, I have trouble hearing people clearly when they speak.  I'm always making them repeat themselves.  Just ask Eli.  And I'm especially bad at understanding accents.  I'm having a hell of a time understanding The IT Crowd on TV right now!

A customer at work approached me and asked me a question that I didn't hear.  So I leaned my ear towards her, and asked her to repeat herself.

"Where are the mumble mumble please?"

"uh...I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"Do you have any mumble mumble?"

Beat.Now we have a crossroads.  I am torn.  I can ask them to repeat themselves a FOURTH time, and risk not understanding yet again.  I can admit that I have no idea what they're saying.  Or, and guess which one I choose, I can make it someone else's problem.

"I'm new here, and I'm not so sure.  Let me find a manager you can ask."  <-- because I'm a terrible person.

I grab the manager, pull them over, and prompt them to restate their question:  "Hi, this customer has a question for you..."  I hold out the palm of my hand towards them, so they can place their query on it.

"Yeah, hi, I was wondering, where are the toilets?"

DING DING DING!  Fourth time was the charm.  And PS, I may have been new, but I knew where the toilets were.  And my manager knows that I know where the toilets are.  Everybody knows where the toilets are.


Friday, June 22, 2012

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday: Summer

Hooray for Friday!
And for another Fill-in-the-Blank Friday Link-Up with Lauren at The Little Things We Do!

This week, we're drawing inspiration from the Summer season to let our creative juices flow!

Summer is as summer does
Flowers bloom and beetles buzz

Nature's bounty in all it's glory
But outside Central Park, it's a different story

Awwwww yeeeeeeeah

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Things I Love Thursday: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You guys, I am so depressed!  There are like, NO good movies or TV shows about strong women out there anymore.  Everywhere you look, it's like, Sexy Girls Sexing: The Sexquel.

At least we always know that there is a Chosen One.  She alone will turn the notion of "weak females" on its head, and become the greatest heroine of an entire generation.  She is the Slayer.

Here's what I love.  You take a blonde cheerleader from California and give her the responsibility for protecting the entire world. 

The premise is laughable because come on, can a blonde even be trusted to turn in her Algebra homework on time?  Women are so stupid and weak, amirite? 

Say that to her face.

Oh and it's also funny, and exciting, and scary, and the greatest show of all time.

Source: via Liz on Pinterest

Holla at me if Buffy Summers is your hero.
Or if you have a good TV show or movie for me where the lead chick has self-respect.
Seriously, please.

Bugging Out

Confession:  we have bugs.

This is New York City!  Helloooo!  Everyone has bugs...or mice...or rats...or toilet snakes! 

Exhibit A:

Bug seen on counter, near oh-so-precious coffee maker!!!

Exhibit B:

Bug seen in cupboard, near plates and SPLENDA!

Exhibit C:

My Fortress of Solitude! 
My Bat-cave!

Needless to say, the last breach was too much to stand and I had to CRUSH my enemy!  With a paper towel!

The worst part about buggy invaders is that you never feel safe.  You're constantly vigilant.  And always...itchy.  Yes!  Imagining every perceived tickle is another evil bug, attacking you just when you let your guard down!

Next time the (free) building exterminator comes around, sign me up!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

7 Things Link-Up #14

Skipit is stylin', and I am so sick.

Seven Questions with Gentri Lee
is BACK!  Did you miss it?  I know I did!

1. What do you do when you're sick?

I am the babiest of babies when I'm sick.  I'm such a baby when I'm sick, I'm practically a fetus!  Refer back to Melodramatic Chicken.  Every symptom is the beginning of something life-threatening:  my mild headache is a brain tumor, for instance.  And I behave thusly:  saying my final goodbyes, willing away my earthly possessions, and even pulling the "You'll be sorry..." if I have to.  "Eli, you'll be sorry if I die and you didn't bring me soup in my final hours!"  I'm horrible.  And now you know.

2. What do you do to find motivation when you feel you've lost it?

Let me know!  Honestly, when I've run out of ideas for blogging, I watch TV.  My last post was loosely inspired by a marathon of Drop Dead Diva.  I'm pretty sure that makes me a horrible person.  Of course, link-ups are always fabulous for inspiration!  And I'm sooo glad Gentri Lee has brought back the Seven Questions.  I'm not even being a suck-up here, it's one of the best link-up out there!

3. Do you wish time away or do you savor every moment?

I think obviously, that depends on where I am.  I love my job, but when I'm getting tired or hungry, I do wish the time away.  When I'm waiting for a train, and the platform is hot and steamy and smelly, I wish the time away.  But when the morning is all to myself, I want time to slow down.  The days I get to share with Eli, I wish I could slow down and rewind to play over and over.  And vacations!

4. If you could be any mythological creature, what would you be, and why?

I would totally be a Greek goddess.  Those stories are all so interesting and crazy!  Not to mention the whole "immortality" thing.  That would be wicked sweet!

5. What is your current biggest weakness and are you working on fixing it?

I'm sooo mean.  See above, "You'll be sorry...".  I think horrible mean thoughts all the time, even when completely unprovoked.  And then those thoughts pop like bubbles in my mind and leave the inside of my mind and soul covered in sticky, soapy negativity.  I want to share a story that's been looming heavy on my heart for a while:

About a week ago, I was on the subway going home from work late at night.  I had a long, hard day, and my mind was in an angry, judgmental place.  Scanning the car, I thought evil thoughts about everyone I saw:  "Who brings a baby on the subway at 11:00pm besides a neglectful parent?"  "Someone's terrible music is louder than it really ought to be."  "Whoever told her she could wear her underwear as pants should be sued."  See?  I'm so mean.

In the corner was a girl with earphones in, asleep.  She was making a weird face in her sleep, like she was expressing disgust at her subconscious.  "What an ugly sleeper she is,"  I thought to myself.  "She must have an equally ugly awake-face."

A few minutes later, that sleeping girl woke with a start.  She flung her arms wide open, hitting the woman next to her in her seat.  She gasped, then began to shake.  At once, she drew her arms to her chest in fists, stuck her tongue out, and crossed her eyes.  Convulsing violently, she howled and gasped for what felt like an eternity.  I couldn't bring myself to watch (much).  Passengers started to react - "She's having a seizure!"  "Is there a doctor in the car?"  "Pull the emergency cord!"  "No, DON'T pull the emergency cord!*  We have to make it to the station!"

Just as we were pulling into 145th Street, she went limp.  A crowd formed around her, trying to wake her up gently and protect her head from hitting the hard, metal pole she had landed near as the train rattled to a stop.  The doors opened and passengers burst out onto the platform shouting "MEDIC!" and "We need a doctor!"  A young lady in scrubs boarded the train and brushed past me as I fled the scene.  I was racked with guilt.  I had thought such evil thoughts about someone that I gave them a seizure.  

Every time I have a mean thought about someone, I think to myself, "How would I feel if something bad happened to them?" 
And that's how I'm getting over my mean streak.

6. How do you greet someone when meeting them for the first time?

I'm wicked nice!  But my greeting is probably rather flat.  "Hi, what's up."  I think.  At work, I have a routine.  I say "Hi, Welcome!" to customers.  On the "Hi," I wave the palms of my hands out like jazz hands in a welcoming gesture.  On the "Welcome," I slap my hands down on my legs and bow down a little bit.  I have no idea how I came up with this little routine, if you could call it that, but I get warm responses from people.  I think I'm both exuberant and humble, and that resonates well with people who are both high-energy and low-key.

7. How do you grocery shop?

Badly!  Eli and I go together, so we only have a chance about once a month or less to shop.  We go down to Trader Joe's, fill the cart with frozen foods and canned soups.  Six frozen chana masalas!  Four lentil soups!  Two loaves of bread, three boxes of corn dogs, and all the frozen Polenta Provencal they have!  We fill the cart, take it to the register, and it only costs about $100.  Trader Joe's is a miracle.  So we fill out a delivery slip, then race home, and wait for the doorbell.  When it comes, I have to play Freezer Tetris to make everything fit!

*in a medical emergency, you NEVER want to pull the emergency cord.  If you can get to a station, medical personnel can be called and the patient can be taken to a hospital.  If the train gets stuck between stations, it can take hours for emergency rescue teams to reach the patient and precious life-saving moments can be lost.

Monday, June 18, 2012

I'm Afraid to Be Alone

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to live by myself.  I don't, of course, I have Eels.  And before that, I lived with my parents.  For many, many years.

Here's the embarrassing part:  I'm afraid to be alone at night.  And I'm almost 28 years old!

Take, for example, a few years ago.  My parents drove my brother out to college and left me at home alone overnight to watch the dogs.  I was alone, in my parents' house in the totally safe suburb I grew up in. 

Every creak was a poltergeist.  Every bump was the footstep of a serial killer.  Every time the dogs barked, they were barking at the rapists, waiting outside the windows for me to let my guard down. 

Unreasonable?  Absolutely.  But who enjoys a solo sleepover?  That's why you're supposed to host crazy keg parties when your parents go out of town - so you won't be alone in a creepy house all night!

Besides, this is New York!  Nobody can afford to live without roommates. 

Quick!  Name a fabulous sitcom where people DIDN'T have roommates!  It's a trick question.  You can't!  Will had Grace!  The Two Broke Girls have each other.  Marshall and Lily had Ted, then Ted had Marshall, then Ted had Robin, then I stopped watching because the show got boring.

And didn't all the Friends share that impossibly gorgeous apartment together?  It was like, twenty years ago, I can't remember.  And now I feel old.

So, really, who wants to be alone?  Would you rather be cowering under your comforter, wondering what that weird banging noise coming from the basement is?  Or, would you rather turn on a lava lamp, make some popcorn, throw a frozen pizza in the oven and stay up all night telling swapping stories and jokes with your roommates?Here's the thing:  in terms of growing up, moving out and living by yourself is considered a milestone.  For some, a first apartment is considered the hallmark of being an adult!  OR IS IT?  Let's ask Blanche Devereaux, whose fateful bulletin board posting seeking roommates led to one of the greatest sitcoms of all time:

Source: via Beth on Pinterest

I rest my case.

Mani Mondays - Funfetti Cake

matte yellow polish / pink, orange, red, green, blue, & navy dots.

This week's theme is Funfetti Cake.  Back in my second year of college, I was working part time, taking classes full time, and constantly in rehearsals.  To remind myself that I was human, I would bake a funfetti cake with milk chocolate frosting, cut it into little pieces, and enjoy a tiny piece at the end of each (long) day.  I could sure use me some funfetti cake right about now.

UPDATE!!!  At game night last night, my friend surprised me with a HUGE funfetti sheet cake!  With milk chocolate frosting!  Just like I mentioned!  Behold, the power of blogging: 


It's De-Lovely!

Oh Gawrsh!

I'm tickled pink to be nominated for the One Lovely Blog award!
Being able to snootily call myself a "blogger" is it's own reward,
but making connections with all of you guys is also pretty great.

Speaking of which, the lovely Kassie Nichole from Ginger Flair nominated me, and if it wasn't against the rules, I'd nominate her right back.  It's been great getting to know Kassie through her blog, playing Draw Something against her, following her Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram!  She has great style and is one cool chick to boot.  Thanks, Kassie!

And while we're spreading the love, here are some more great bloggers who deserve some shout-outs!

And, as per the rules, here are 7 things you may or may not know about me!

I'm addicted to incense.
What do massage parlors, college dorms, Pearl River Mart, and my apartment have in common?

2. Yesterday, I rode in a cab by myself for the first time EVER.
I've always been afraid of being abducted (you hear stories) or getting lost (apparently, for some cabbies, our apartment is hard to find?), but it was rather pleasant, aside from me feeling like I was going to throw up or pass out the whole time.  Still, beats feeling sick on the subway!

3. I'm a vegetarian, but I love fake meat.
All the meat-eaters I talk to say that the veggie burgers and sausages I enjoy taste nothing like real meat.
Therefore, no explanation necessary.

I collect the fortunes from fortune cookies.
I use them as captions in my scrapbook.  What?

I make great mixtapes.
Look out, Pandora radio.  I love the clever art of arranging different songs into one CD to demonstrate your feelings for someone of capture the zeitgeist of a particular time in your life.  I'm ripping my old CDs from ten years ago into iTunes and enjoying re-living my early college years on up through the music I was enjoying at the time!

I adore drag queens.
The first (and last, really) live drag show I attended was back in college, but I adore RuPaul's Drag Race, Paris is Burning, and the Pride parade every year.  Drag queens are like unicorns:  why have a plain old horse when you can have one with a horn, too, eh?  Wink wink, nudge nudge.

I can't perform music in public.
 It's almost a given that I'll start singing in the middle of conversation.  I happily sing along with radios, with the music in stores, or my own made up tunes, such as "Gay Dudes," "Pirate Pug Jack," and "Peaches McCallahan".  But I would get so nervous at elementary school concerts that I would forget to sing.  I would shake at piano recitals so badly that I couldn't read the sheet music.  And at karaoke night, I talk a big game, but when I sing, I invariably clench my knees together and bob awkwardly while singing to distract from my tuneless voice, I guess?

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Stay Classy, Washinton Heights

"How do you take your Corona?"

"Oh, I like mine warmed overnight on a windowsill, thanks."

Saturday, June 16, 2012

What A Card!

Is there anything better, on these hot, balmy days of summer, than...
...sitting inside in the air conditioning and playing card games?

I think not.
Who needs the outdoors?  Besides, card games are portable!  If you wanted to, you them in a tent!  In a cabin by a lake!  Or whatever!  Here are some of my favourites...

Source: via Paul on Pinterest

Set is like memory on SPEED!  In no time, your friends, family and loved ones will be hunched over a table, faces in their hands, completely silent save for the occasional outburst of "SET!" and subsequent groans.  This is a tense, competitive game and you'll be totally addicted in no time!

Uno is Crazy Eights made crazier, what's not to love?  This game is older than old, but everyone knows how to play, so why not keep a deck in your purse to play while you're waiting for your food in busy restaurants?  You could become the cool person who always has Uno in her purse!

Apples to Apples is basically ubiquitous by this point.  Everybody has this game, and if they don't, you know what to buy them as a hosting gift at their next dinner party.  Then after dinner, you can casually suggest a game and turn that dinner party into an all-nighter!

Source: via PCB on Pinterest

Five Crowns will take you a little longer to catch onto than some of these other games, but it's so worth it.  I was introduced to this game by my extended family last year over my Grandmother's birthday.  All my life, they've been playing games and they instilled in me a love of games as a way of connecting!  But, more on that later.  This game is for the advanced players!  There's math!  Scorekeeping!  AN EXTRA SUIT, for Pete's sake!  Here's what I suggest:  If you're on a summer getaway, at a lodge or a cabin, and wake up your first day of vacation to TORRENTIAL rain, all your plans dashed...pick up Five Crowns and teach everyone how to play!  By the time the sun comes out, you won't even want to go outside anymore!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Happy Father's Day

This series of thoughts just flitted through my panicked brain, in the precise following order:

"Wait, Father's Day is THIS WEEKEND?"

"That means it's TOMORROW!"

"I bought my card a MONTH ago and it's still in my suitcase!"

"I was going to NAIL this holiday and I MISSED it!"

"The card will NEVER make it there on time, today is SATURDAY..."

"No, today is FRIDAY..."

"That means..."

"I didn't leave this until literally the last possible minute!!!"

"Only, just almost."

"And my card is still going to be late."

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday: Dinner Party Edition

I'm linking up again with Lauren @ the little things we do for another of the new-and-improved Fill in the Blank Friday!  Join her link up, and join me for my hypothetical dinner party!  Read on...

I would invite....
Literally everyone I know (know and like, duh, obviously)!  And tons of drag queens, for entertainment!

The theme would be....
"Disco Inferno" - I've always wanted to throw a huge dance party!  And who doesn't love disco?

I would host it....
At the Waldorf Astoria Hotel, because why not?  I saw an event there once and it was pretty sweet-looking.  It would be awesome to have some blow-out event in a fancy hotel.

We would eat....
Macaroni & Cheese from S'mac - all my favourite flavours!  And Caesar salad on the side, with fresh shaved Parmesan and big croutons.  The Big Gay Ice Cream truck would be there, serving up Salty Pimps for dessert as people walked out!

It would look like....
The Studio 54 of your nightmares, with some Xanadu thrown in for good measure.  We'd turn the lights down and lower the disco ball.  Synthetic fibers and platform shoes strongly encouraged!  Dinner is buffet style, served around the dance floor!

Source: via Autumn on Pinterest

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Things I Love Thursday: Home

News Flash!  Or not.  I've got this new job, see, and I've been super busy lately what with the new job and all.  But today is my day off, hooray! 

So I'm spending the whole day at home - glorious home!  Enjoying all of my favourite parts of home, which I'd like to share with you!  Come on in, make yourself at home!

<-- bathroom nightlight

(so you don't trip over the fan when you get up to pee at night)

^ Eli Penguin guards the front hallway.

Confession:  Last years' calendar is still hanging in my kitchen.
But if your calendar was customized with photos of yourself and you lovah,
you'd probably keep it up, too.

I'm not weird, I swear.
I just love Angry Birds, like, a lot.
And laugh to myself whenever I see these two canoodling on the couch.

One of the cutest notes Eli has ever left me.
I swear, that guy is adorable.
See how happy the bug is?!?

But alas, it's not all mushy stuff and Angry Birds...

The Super STILL hasn't fixed the broken light fixture in our bathroom!
I cannot abide a naked light bulb!

Ah well, the better to see the dirty bathroom with, which reminds me, I have a lot of cleaning to do!

What are the tiny (or bizarre) details of your home like?
Don't act like you don't have strange clutter all over your place.
As if your home has matching knick-knacks and track lighting.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Homestyle Cures

Here's a big surprise:  I'm a massive hypochondriac.  Surprise!  I'm constantly running up imaginary fevers, contracting unexplainable bruises, and dying of a myriad of cancers.  It's mostly all in your head, isn't it?  Insert some witty observation about our own perception being the only possible filter so we lack objectivity when it comes to our own health.  That's why I'm always pestering Eels to feel my forehead and why I just downloaded the WebMD app to my iPhone. 

But just as I have invented millions of illnesses for myself, I am constantly discovering new treatments for my imaginary illnesses!  Aren't placebos effective?  They sure are - when you're not even really suffering from Imaginary Imminent Death Syndrome!

First of all, the only thing you sure ever eat while sick is soup.  Soup, and maybe bread with butter on it.  You'll try to cough down some peanut-butter bread, but give up halfway through.  Gross!  Lentil soup is optimal during this period in time, take it from me.

If suffering from nausea, remember that ginger ale and SweetTarts are your friends.  These are effective for extreme carsickness all the way down to vague stomachaches that require cancelling all your plans to curl up on the couch moaning and re-watching the entirety of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix.

When suffering from a fever, you'll want to alternate between keeping very warm and staying very cool.  Try a knitted or crocheted afghan for the chills, and a cool, wet washcloth on your feet for when fever spikes.  Freezey pops at all times.

Lastly, headaches are troublesome and irritating.  The best remedy I've found for mild headaches is taking a nap with a heavy book on your face.

Try these panaceas and you'll be right as rain in no time, after copious whining and exaggeration!

Of course, the best cure for illness is a supportive and loving boyfriend, who draws pictures of you as a chicken being melodramatic:
Then taking a nap and feeling much better:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...